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Dark and Lovely. This description often fits the type of guys that many "Christian" girls are attracted to -- Darkness on the inside, but looking Lovely on the outside.

In the video below, Pastor Cox (of P4CM.com) addresses the females who only bring their "model-husband" male acquantances to church to get saved, or to at least get "churched" (another blog topic). He encourages such females to not discriminate, but to bring the short-light-skinned-no-swag-acne-faced brother to church also, because they need salvation too! Hilarious and definitely true... but I want to go even further.

This is a sober issue, because not only will girls bring their "Dark and Lovelys" to church, but many will end up growing emotionally and/or sexually intimate with these guys prematurely, and may even enter a long-term relationship. In most cases, NO ONE (not even mothers or church mothers) will inquire further but instead compliment "what a nice guy" she brought to church with her, or is now dating.

Of course, these stories seem like perfect fairytales on the surface, where the couples live happily ever after... UNTIL the female becomes pregnant before marriage. At this point, since the pregnancy is visible fruit that cannot be ignored, everyone acts extremely surprised and disappointed. As if we did not know that the couple was already unequally yoked, or sexually active outside of wedlock?! So now, we proceed to treat them as "the unfortunate fornicating few".

C'mon peeps! This is unfair to these ladies who become pregnant, because:

1) they are only a small part of a greater norm that we failed (by not addressing the issue early on)

2) all the conviction and judgment that should be directed to the church body is only directed to this already broken minority.

3) the large remaining population of "single, saved, and having sex" is left deceived and feeling "fortunate" that God favored and protected them from such shame. They are left bound to pride, lust, and in pursuit of empty relationships.

Disciples, we can no longer allow each other to be pimped by this Dark and Lovely mess, and must challenge instead of compliment couples that look lovely on the outside. Church without true community and discipleship is not a strong enough antidote for the supernatural sexual seductions of this world (yes, it is not just "natural" hormones feeding this surreal sex-frenzied society), so lets keep them accountable.

Ladies, because a guy comes to church with you twice and says "service was cool" does NOT mean you have a "green light" from God to date him. In fact, if you find yourself still attracted to him, you should check your own dark heart that would prefer a man that has no passion for the Christ you claim to love. Men (in and outside the church), protect your sisters and take your hormones to Jesus and fellow brothers in Christ to be dealt with... or at least know that you are compounding the wrath of God for causing one of His to stumble.

A man that believes in God is not the same as a man who believes God. The latter will treasure God's words as His food and very source of eternal life, and know that GOD and PURITY are inseparable -- to desire one, is to desire both.

Less Swag, More Salt
Cross.Eyed

5 comments

that one said... @ July 8, 2009 at 9:59 AM

YES. Oh my GOODNESS YES. Thank you so much for this read, I don't think you understand how good it was for me. Especially with my own battle with loneliness getting to me, this was a pleasant, well-timed, slap in the face. *saves for future reference*

Moniaishi said... @ July 8, 2009 at 10:16 AM

"and must challenge instead of compliment couples that look lovely on the outside."
that for me summed up most of what you wrote. we spend so much time complinmenting couplehood that we never really focus on the true realities pride, lust and the pursuite of empty relationships.

Mimi said... @ July 8, 2009 at 7:38 PM

"Darkness on the inside, but looking Lovely on the outside." mmm!! but honestly though, i think that sometimes girls know this stuff but temporary leaching relationships look better than waiting on God...

I washed this clip and couldn't stop laughing. HILARIOUS!! (please Tyron, please repent LOL)and true

A little songbird said... @ July 8, 2009 at 9:32 PM

well done little grasshopper....btw jeremiah and estherlito went to fishy heaven tonight...cleaned the fish tank...so i put them in a bowl of water. I think they got water shocked. =( Went to petsmart and Got four more though! *chickapow* <3

A little songbird said... @ July 8, 2009 at 9:53 PM
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